Approximately 49% of Americans report feeling frequently stressed, so it’s understandable that anyone with an anxiety-causing event coming up would be looking for some stress management tips. While work, money, and romance are some of the more common stressors, family dynamics is another one that is not talked about a lot.
Family vacations and reunions can be significant sources of stress leading up to the event, during and after. And there can be many reasons why. Keep reading to learn more about why a family gathering can cause so much discomfort and how you can adequately prepare to manage your stress in these situations.
Why Would a Family Gathering Cause Stress?
Feeling uncomfortable at family gatherings and unsure why? Well, you’re not alone. Family gatherings can set off your stress triggers for many reasons:
- Old conflicts can come up.
- People step into their old roles (for example, parents treating their grown-up children as if they’re still kids).
- Expectations are set too high.
- Miscommunication happens.
- Individuals feel judged by others.
- Relationships feel forced.
- People have grown and changed, but other family members can’t accept that.
So, a family vacation or reunion can be challenging for many reasons. But avoiding family gatherings isn’t the answer. If you want to continue to have a relationship with your family, you need to be able to attend these important social events.
The solution is to know how to prepare ahead of time to reduce your stress and enjoy yourself.
8 Stress Management Tips for Attending Family Events
Here are some practical, easy tips to keep your next family function as low-stress as possible:
1. Understand Your Stress Triggers During Family Gatherings
One of the most important things you can do before the family event is reflect on which parts of these gatherings are stressful for you. Is it seeing a particular person? Is it being asked questions about a specific topic? Or is it concerns over what your family members might say to your spouse or children?
Identify the reason now so you can devise a plan to handle this stress-inducing situation. See if you can strategize how to avoid the stressful instance, reduce the chances of it happening, or have a “way out” when it does occur.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Sometimes, the stress of a family gathering comes from unrealistic expectations. You may hope it will be a perfect day or that everyone will be on their best behavior despite a track record of family events filled with disagreements and conflict.
Remind yourself of what usually happens at these functions and reset your expectations. If you can do this, you’ll be less likely to be disappointed and upset if an adverse situation arises.
3. Consider Your Communication Strategies for Conflict Resolution
If one of the reasons you don’t appreciate family functions is because you always get into a fight with someone, consider how you should deal with this situation ahead of time. If you know you’re highly likely to get into an argument, evaluate how you can communicate your feelings in a way that will encourage conflict resolution.
Some of the most effective communication strategies for resolving conflicts are:
- Practicing active listening
- Being empathetic
- Learning to apologize and/or forgive when appropriate
- Discerning between feelings and reality
- Using neutral language
4. Set Boundaries
One way to avoid unnecessary conflict is to set boundaries with family members so they don’t cross a line. If a family member does or says something that upsets you, you can explain how it makes you feel and suggest that everyone move on to something else. Hopefully, your family members will hear and respect your boundaries for the sake of keeping the peace.
5. Plan and Organize Ahead of Time
Running late to an event and not having all the supplies you need are just two examples of how poor planning can add to the stress of your family gathering. Do yourself a favor and get organized ahead of time. Figure out the timing of the event, including when you want to arrive and leave. Make a list and pack early so you bring all the necessary items with you.
6. Incorporate Fun and Relaxation
Family situations can sometimes feel like a chore, but it can help to focus on the fun side. Remind yourself of all the enjoyment you’ll get from attending this event. You’ll get to spend time and reconnect with loved ones, probably eat some good food, and relax.
7. Balance Personal Time and Group Activities
It doesn’t matter if you’re on a family vacation or at a reunion – don’t make the mistake of forcing yourself to spend the entire time with family members. You can break off from the group to relax, do your own activity, or just take a moment to yourself.
If taking some personal time is going to make you a more relaxed version of yourself around family, it’s the best choice for everyone. Remember, all that matters is the quality of time you spend with everyone, not the quantity.
8. Reflect and Learn From Experiences
If you know family situations stress you out but are committed to making a change, it’s time to reflect on these events. After you make some conscious steps to improve the outcome of these family gatherings, reflect on what went well and what didn’t. This will allow you to continue to grow and adapt until you figure out the right set of steps to have the smoothest family event possible!
You Can Change Your Family Gathering Dynamic
You don’t have to continue down a pattern of challenging, stressful family gatherings. If you make some important changes, there’s a good chance you can significantly reduce the stress your family events currently instill in you. But it will take some commitment, planning, and reflection to see notable improvements.
Stress Management With Sunlight Recovery
If your family vacations and reunions are causing you extreme stress, it might be time to talk to a professional. You may be dealing with unresolved family trauma or have a mental health condition that’s contributing to your stress levels.
Sunlight Recovery is a Florida treatment center that is fully licensed for mental health care. You will get access to an experienced, empathetic counselor who can help you work through your family-related problems and give you the tools you need for conflict resolution.
Contact Sunlight Recovery today to learn more about our mental health treatment options.
